I wish I may, I wish I might

see this...

instead of this...

so instead of being on the road, I'll just work on this...

sometimes I just get this...taunting photo messages from my first born

rubbing it in that the apron is hers... I love Calvin and Hobbs.

She is such a brat.

with her mothers sense of humor...

look at all the awards on her apron.  She is such a great kid and does me proud, even if she is evil to me.

all snug as bugs in a rug.

I did have an adventure this week as I stopped at Waterloo Woolens on Main Street, Waterloo.  Wonderful shop full of antiques, primitives and WOOL HOOKING SUPPLIES.  The owners Kathy and Vin are amazing.  I was able to pick up a pattern by The Tattered Flag and she has a yummy supply of wools and she creates some over-dyes that are just lovely, too. 

Kathy was sweet to spend sometime with me going over my hooking and giving me tips.  After I purchased my wool they offered to let me use their cutter to make my gizzards (this is what Kathy called the wool strips)  So I settled in for a few hours of cutting strips.  She then welcomed me to the world of being a Wooly Hooker.  I am looking forward to meeting other ladies in the area that enjoy it too. 

I feel like I am entering the next chapter of my life in so many ways on so many different fronts at the same time.
As an empty nester
As an employee
As a wife
As an artist
As a woman.

I am now looking into doing things, meeting people that I  had in my mind as a vague notion of possibility.  And everyday something appears in my path that opens a new door.  In opening new doors I've had to make the choice to close a few old doors, let go of relationships that were one thing in my mind, but in reality were a totally different matter all together. Maybe even an illusion, and unfortunately illusions have no flaws.  This lead me to invest and hold on to them for far too long. 
When I pulled them out of their neat little packages and really looked at them, put them to the test, the results were heart wrenchingly wrong for me and fruitful to the other parties.

So I grieve, process and renew my commitments to living the rest of my life to the benefit of myself.  Its so hard, I have never put myself before anything before and I stumble.  Its like walking in high heels for the first time, I trip and think "good lord what am I doing"  then after a few sure steps I think "damn, I feel tall, sure. Please god don't let me twist my ankle".