In the Willows...

In the Willows...

Friday, April 18, 2014

The Other Woman.....

Her name is Flo...

Joel, has had her for a long time and after 10 years in storage, he is getting to work on her.  Can't you tell he is pleased as punch.  His neighbor bought Flo new in 1971.  When he was little he told the neighbor that he wanted to by that car someday, so in the late 1990's when the neighbor was ready to sell, she asked around the neighborhood if the little blond boy was still around and if he wanted the car, so Joel's dad called him in Ohio where he was doing his Electrical Apprenticeship and he beat feet back to the old neighborhood to buy the car.  So here we are many years later and he is finally getting to do what he wants to Ole' Flo.

The neighbor's name was Florance.

Just as a side story, Joel's mom backed into this car taking out the rear door on the passenger side, in 1971. So for Joel this car has more than a few sentimental stories.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Dreams, do you pay attention?

A snow owl came to me in my dream the other night, sat there and told me her name... I distinctly remember the female voice and the name was female, can I remember the damn name?  NO!  is it driving me bat shit crazy YES!   Why? because for some reason I know it is very important and I know this dream was significant.  I've had the owl as a totem for sometime, but now I see it stepping forward to take its place as my totem for this phase of my growth and life experience.  This significance brings me great joy.  The fact that I have obtain the ability to work with Owl medicine is validating.

I remember even becoming semi-conscious and telling myself "I needed to remember this in the morning".  I work very hard at paying attention to the universe and world around me, it is of great comfort to know that the world is talking to us every minute.  One of my favorite things is to sit in the woods and listen to the tree talk, its so ancient and it makes me feel so a live.

Last night I dreamed that I was my younger self and that I lost a backpack.  After doing some research the meaning I am taking from it is: Dreaming of my younger self means there are things from the past that I have not successfully finished, mistakes of my youth that I have let bugger up my now life, loosing the backpack is letting go of old baggage, over coming, losing the weight of old stuff I have carried with me.   So I feel like this has to do with this weight loss journey I have been working on solving.  I have been focused the last month on the weight loss in my head.  I feel the only way I will be successful after surgery is to get to the roots of my mental hunger and how I have stuffed down my feelings all these years.  I feel like I really am on the right track and my dreams are validating that.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Tiara for the cat?

The funniest part wasn't that the cat let us do it, or that he seemed to enjoy feeling regal.  It was Joel's reaction to seeing the photo of his cat in a kitty crown.  "What!?, you can't put a crown on him, you will give him a complex!"   Jeeze, I figure he would have gotten the complex when they chopped off his nuts at the SPCA.  It was worth the laugh... So may I introduce, King Edgar Allen Pussywillows!

He really look's like he is rather enjoying it...  I know Samantha was.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Quilted Cross Stitch Cat

Here is the latest project finished and framed.  

More cleaning and hoeing is going on.  I went through the stepback cupboards this weekend and pulled out stuff to go in the spring sale.  Kitchen cupboards are next....

Friday, April 4, 2014

Cuteness then Crazy Quilting Catch up

They are so cute asleep... enough said.

 I was reading a blog that really made me want to get into my stores of Crazy Quilting supplies, there was awhile that all I was doing was Crazy quilting, but then the fire and all that stuff go packed up and sent away to be de-skunked.  So it came back in boxes and was quietly put on my shelves to be opened another day.  Well that day was Monday.   Here is a block I started, don't have a clue to what my intentions were so... I need new ones..
 I started pulling out the lace, ribbon and my boxes of thread, bling, you name it I might have it.  Now it looks like a Colonial Gentleman exploded and all that's left is is ruffles every where.  UMMMM... You may see a Pfaff 2038 there in the photo.... Remember the one I lost in the fire (an older model not 2038)
 Well, when I took the Singer into be worked on by Penn Yan Sewing Center (Amish place) in January, I asked if they ever got in any used Pfaffs, they said sometimes and took my name and number and said they would call.  I didn't really expect anything so....  A couple of weeks ago the fate's intervened and I got a call, "We have a used Pfaff 2038 would you be interested for $299.00".  I said hold on for a minute and did a quick Internet search its a 2008 model retailed for $1899.00 new and has a ton of stitches my old Pfaff did not have.  I told them I would call them right back.
 So I called Joel... Can I?  He said are you kidding? why did you say you would have to call them back? Get on the phone and tell them to hold it.  So I did and OH MY how I missed my Pfaff.  I figure because they are a Bernina Dealer and took it as a trade in, they had no need to want to keep it around so lucky for me...First time I sewed with it, I couldn't believe how quiet it is. I am in love all over again.

This one is a newer block, I was starting to fill in more in the empty spaces.

This is some of my first works

 I love making bumblebees... they make me smile.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Knock Knock...Universe are you there?

In my journey to clear clutter.   That bookcase had been bugging me for weeks, so finally when I started moving the books pile by pile, one pile of books shifted and this one popped out of the pile and landed on to the floor.   I was surprised and thought " I totally forgot all about this book" .  I had read it years ago and even at the time it all made sense but I just didn't process the information like I could have if it had been the right time in my life.

So, that nagging thought about being time to clean out and re organized has lead me to a tool that I need right now as I go on my journey for weight-loss surgery and clarification as to why I have had such a hard time shedding my protective layers of weight.

This time around the information in the book, is like "OMG, I so relate to this".

The universe really does answer our questions when we ask, we just have to be prepared to listen or pick up on the answers in the way the universe provides them.  So many things become clearer when you start to live understanding that there are answers in everything.  I am finding that my mind and heart are much more cluttered than my home.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Holy toad shit, batman...that's screwed up.

Sam and one of the kittens..So much has been going on I am not sure where to begin.   I finished another baby quilt, that I am not allowed to post photos of it yet, because someone wishes to be surprised, but I want to share because it came out so AWESOME...

  I've been trying to banish the remainder of the winter that is being forced upon us, buy cleaning out clutter.... Not that I have a ton, the house fire a few years ago took care of most of it, but still it creeps in and I have had enough, I want things lighter, brighter... so I started with the bookcase in the living room.

It was so full of everything(as you can see in the photo below with Nate).
 So I removed all the books.  I will put them in a bookcase in the upstairs hallway, just for books.  Then I picked out favorite things that make me happy (including an original painting of an owl that I adore) Some of Joel's things and some of mine and now it just seems so much better.

I will be having a huge sale this spring to get rid of the extras that at one point or time were important to me but now....not so much.  I also cleaned out my facebook, all the negative people whom have nothing to do but whine, condemn others for their beliefs and political views, who needs them, yuck.

I have lived my life for others.  Much of it just seeking and doing things for the approval of others.  There were a few years where I was able to get away from this, but I seem to have fallen back into a pattern, that I do not desire to continue.

I was at a social event a week or so ago for a local school, where I ran into one of my mentors from my school days.  I was so very excited to see her it had been many, many years.  I re-introduced myself and the first question from her was "So how many kids have you, squeezed out?"  I was so shocked I stuttered my reply of " I have two children, my oldest is over there."  Her next question was "Are you still singing?"  I confessed I haven't in the context she was referring to.  She tisked me with her fingers and stated "Not even in church?"  I stated "no" gentle shaking my head, starting to feel like I had done something so disappointing.  She claimed she was in a hurry and had to leave, stating it was nice to see me, kind of half hearted like.

My first reaction was one of devastation, disappointment in myself.  Yes, I know that many people expected me to further my singing career, but to date, it has not been in the cards for me, no roads have presented themselves to me where this would be an option.  SORRY...

Now I've sat on this feeling for a few days... I always have thought of this person with extreme fondness, now she can go screw herself.   NO, I don't sing publicly,anymore.  I didn't take my musical talents and become a music teacher or anything musical, but I did better than that.  I sang to my children everyday, I introduced them to the love of music, EVERYTHING, classical, jazz, country and good ole ROCK.   There was not a day that we didn't sing together.  Our long road trips were not name that licence plate from who gives a shit, it was name that song and who sings it.  They would put Dick Clark, to shame.

Music was our bond, we sang on bad days, we sang on good days.  They will always remember the music, there are more songs that I can count that will bring back and stir memories for them as long as they live.  Samantha plays piano, percussion and guitar. Nathan plays a soulful clarinet and is learning guitar, now.  They both sing, and I see so much of their daily activities are with music.  They didn't just get it from me, their father is an accomplished talented drummer, so no matter who they were with there was music.

So I did do something with my talent, lady.... Just not what YOU, think I should have done, to bad... I did BETTER.   As for her CHURCH, crack... I don't do CHURCH in the traditional sense.  I prefer to communicate with my higher power, outside, in the woods, by the water where ever, its usually not in a building and its NO ONES business.

The most simple explanation I have ever given for how I feel about this is:  I have my thing, you have your thing.  You can worship a toad, I don't care, just as long as you don't get in my face and demand that I worship your toad, too.  Because I will never demand or even expect you to understand my thing and I don't want you to, get your own idea.  

I shake my head in dismay, at how much I let her put a value on my life and how I let it affect me.  How I have let so many put a value on and influence my choices, how I have relived their disappointments in me over and over, as if they were my own. Holy toad shit, batman...that's screwed up.  I've let it affect my mental and physical health, for what?