There are several reasons she is my bestie

and not just because she has offered to help me hide the bodies...on more than a few occasions.

What can I say I'm very Irish...and Scottish but lets not forget the Italian and Native American so I speak of the utmost consequences when my feelings are poked with a stick. Unfortunately, usually out loud.

She gets this about me.

I was lucky enough to get her as a coworker for a few blessed years (we were already friends of several years).  She talked me off many a ledge during a few of the dark days.

She continues to be a cohort in my antics, like the following exchange this week.  We ususally chat everyday via text and email and it started like this.

From Me:

Subject: Re: I want my old stapler....I should have taken it...damn it!

Reply from bestie:

LOL, I CAN TRY AND STEAL IT, NOT SHE IS EVER IN HER OFFICE TO USE IT.

From Me:

That makes me want to cry…I am sure it misses me too…my poor blue baby, in that bitches clutches, makes me CRAZY….

Reply from bestie:

LOL

From Me (4 hours later):

Now I miss my scissors, but that is because I have none L.  

Reply from bestie:

Oh lord!   I'm at XXXXXXX's office.  (sorry had to blank the name for besties safety)

From Me:

Good tell her , that I would like my stapler for my years of working the call schedule in her favor….pleaseeeessssss…..

Reply from bestie:

Lol

From Me:

No, its not funny this is serious….the one I have is a total crap waste of tin, I am loosing muscle mass because my old one was ancient and heavy….ITS A TOTAL EMERGENCY!

Reply from bestie:

Easy now, it'll be okay, lift some canned goods when you get home

From Me:

It’s not the same..WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.  Id so be on the floor kicking and screaming right now, if we didn’t have security in the building

Reply from bestie:

May have to take you to mental health

From Me:

As long as I get my stapler, I don’t care……

Reply from bestie:

Lol

......before anyone gets any crazy notions, no crime has been committed.  My stapler (I used it for 18 yrs, its mine) is still being held hostage by the ungrateful organization that caused me to leave my snug happy place...bastards.... I know, I know... I chose to move on but until you use a crappy stapler that you want to throw through a window, you don't realize how you had it good in the world of staplers, umm and scissors.  I might mention tape dispensers too. 

But I shall persevere.... I have no choice, there is still paper to be stapled and taped back together after I rip it because I really do not have a pair of scissors.

Now, on the off chance anyone out there has the power to persuade the communist sect that has my relished desk utensils to release them, for they are old and heavy and NEED ME, I would be forever grateful.

Now you all can see why she is my bestie.... gem of a woman...Mental health my ass....

ps... this isn't the end of the bestie conversation (to be continued)

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